soulslookingforhome:

katiebug445:

killedmycatatemytailor:

If they ever make a live action Simpsons movie, I know who should play Ned Flanders…

image

Yep, that’s right. 

I will create a petition for this single handedly I swear to God I’ll do it.

WHAT IN THE FUCK IS THAT HAIRY WORMSTACH RICHARD

  • person: get your license
  • me: The Road Is A Terrifying Place And I Am Very Afraid To Drive
+ source: unfauxgettable

vivianvivisection:

jonesdavid813:

h0llo:

Putting on makeup is such a spiritual experience I watch myself go from a 3 to a 9 right in front of my mirror I love it

no, if you are putting on makeup, I don’t care who you are or what you look like, you go from about a 10 to 1

keep talking shit you gonna go from a basic ass 2 to a 6-feet-under

Source: h0llo Via: kirschnein
+ source: h0llo

davekatswag:

one time my dad gave me a glass of milk and i meant to ask him “who’s milk is this” because i wasnt sure if it was for me or if i was supposed to give it to my brother but instead i just stared down at the milk and said “who’s this”

then my dad turned to me without missing a beat and said “that’s your new friend mr. milk.” and we stared at each other and then he asked me if i was high

to this day i still have not lived it down

+ source: transarlert

dauntlesshadowhunterravenclaw:

TACO NEEDS TO KEEP HIS LITTLE MOUTH SHUT 

brittapperry:

“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” basically mean the same thing

unless you’re at a funeral

+ source: brittapperry

bokunoarmin:

psa

like

if u wanna talk to me & are shy because u think ur bothering me

pls do it

i’m not cool or popular

i’m a sad lonely meme

Source: bokunoarmin Via: dewa-chan
+ source: bokunoarmin
spookyspatula:


This is the most Apple thing I’ve ever seen

spookyspatula:

This is the most Apple thing I’ve ever seen

+ source: spookyspatula

holdthebones:

whatwouldyoudoifthedoctor:

deathpup:

what happens if u put a werewolf on the moon is a great question probably the best question ever asked

he’ll explode and die because there’s no oxygen on the moon

We never said we’d send him up without a suit you absolute monster

Source: deathpup Via: kirschnein
+ source: deathpup

one-mandrinkinggamess:

one-mandrinkinggamess:

In social issues class today our professor held up a black book and was like “this book is red” and we were all “no” and he said “yes it is” and we were just all “that’s not right” and he turned it around and the back cover was red and he said “Don’t tell somebody they’re wrong until you’ve seen things from their point of view” 

that speaks to me 

I want him to know he’s becoming the next Tumblr sensation

broadway-is-the-best:

likepotato:

tehcheshirecat:

peacelovefairytales:

Disney + Strong Hip Game

I just realized that Meg is like “I’m off the stage. Elsa you take over.” and Elsa is like “Aww yiss, here I am.”

And then there’s Jasmine and Esmeralda flirting with each other.

image

YOU FORGOT THE BEST ONE

BODY LANGUAGE 

wobbufetts:

aidn:

how the hell do i talk to people

Stand in front of them and press A

+ source: aidn
When people say ‘This is my baby,’ they don’t always mean a baby. Sometimes they mean a dog. —A Somali student, on what has surprised her most about the United States. (via tastefullyoffensive)

trainhardbestrong:

hannahroad:

hannahroad:

hannahroad:

Miley: “Dad I have something for Tanners bug collection”

my uncle: “that’s great”

Miley: “it’s a bird”

my uncle: “no its not”

-chirping noise-

image

They let it go and it flew away just fine, so we’re wondering how she caught it.

update:

she caught another bird.

image

update: she caught a squirrel today

image

She is gonna rule the world one day with this power

+ source: hannahroad
+ source: horriblehowl